Student Council Representative Campaign

In contrast to the very heated mid-term elections America is currently undergoing, the elections for Student Council Representatives for first year students is next week. Crazy as it may seem, I decided to throw my name into the running. Four representatives will be selected and so far it looks as if there will be five candidates. That results in a need for campaigning. So the following is my campaign email I sent to all the students which is nothing close to the adds we have been seeing on TV:

(Originally sent by email to the Forest Institute student body)

Adam Batchelder: before my Alien Abduction

I had big plans for my hopeful position as a 1st Year Representative for the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology Student Council....of course that was before I saw THEM!

I wanted to:
1) Increase Student representation in administrative decisions effecting education costs and seek out ways to lower these costs (more library scanners to convert documents/book pages into pdf versus printing them).
2) Establish student discounts at local businesses (like the MSU student discount of $.03 per gallon at local gas stations).
3) Continue to maintain and improve student social functions.
4) Organize discounted student outdoor-trips (skiing, horseback riding, fishing, rafting, climbing, camping, hiking, etc).
5) Established organized fitness programs.
6) Establish student led self-help and stress-relief groups.
7) Increase amenities for on-campus student housing (to be comparable to other local apartment units).

Once the aliens took over my body I knew that I would never be able to share with the 1st year student body the reasons why all of my experiences would help me be a great 1st Year Representative.

My experiences include:
1) Served five-years with the U. S. Navy as a front-line surgical medic assigned to the U. S. Marine Corps.
2) As a Husband of 7-years and a Father of 2, I am well aware of the need for lowering any costs we can as Graduate Students.
3) While in the Navy I was assigned as the MWR (Moral Welfare & Recreation) representative which duties included seeking local business support to discount or fully fund unit functions.
4) During that time I was also designated as the Leading Petty Officer for improving fitness standards within our unit.

Once the aliens turned me into one of them I knew that I would never be able to campaign my cool slogans to encourage 1st year students to elect me as one of the four new 1st Year Representatives.

My cool campaign slogans include:
1) If you vote for me, all of your dreams will come true!
2) Adam offers you his protection!
3) Vote for me and I'll catch you a delicious Bass!
4) Vote for Adam and tater tots are on the house!
5) GOSH......I'll do whatever I want to.....like Vote for Adam!
(special thanks to Napoleon Dynamite for the sweet slogans)

Now that I am one of them they are going to make me enforce their EVIL AGENDA!
Now you have no choice but to Vote For Adam for 1st Year Representative.

These are the two posters that I covered the school with.

Maybe if our politicians had a little humor in their lives they could have as much fun as I have been having. So I'll let you know how I fend through our very unheated elections at Forest Institute.